1. Being the person who gives so many gifts it freaks people out. Meeting someone right before Christmas is like heaven for you because you get to give elaborate gifts and it won’t be creepy. Like, you could give someone a new gift every day for weeks and still get away with saying, “Tis the season” and having people be like, “OK.”
2. When all your friends are super depressed about something, and they hate you for being super optimistic about it. It’s not that bad stuff never happens to you, but you never let it get you down for very long. It’s like a super power but with happiness.
3. Being a chronic overthinker. Because you want to be better, faster, stronger, now, now, now, why isn’t it happening yet? Must go back and reanalyze.
4. Feeling so deeply angry when you lose at anything. Because you’re even competitive with people who think they’re more competitive than you. Shit runs deep.
5. The frustration of knowing something’s off with your friend, even though she insists she’s fiiiine, she’s fiiiine. Somehow, only you know that she just broke up with her boyfriend on a staircase outside of a Forever21. You just do.
6. Always being assigned to “just bring a bottle of wine or something” because everyone knows you’re not exactly domestic. Everything you cook you burn. Everything you try to clean … also you somehow burn. Best to skip it altogether because your fire department is really understaffed right now.
7. Not understanding how or why when your friends complain they’re bored. You’ve never been bored in your life! Even if you’re stuck inside all day you’ll still be like, “Oh my god, what if I reorganized everything in my apartment so all the furniture was in different rooms!”
8. Being the designated fight-fixer of your friend group. When the slightest weirdo thing comes up in your relationships, you are the first person to say, “OK, let’s talk about it. Why is this weird? Come on. Let me hear it.” and everyone stares at you like you’re nuts, but also thinks you’re great because you actually deal with things.
9. Having 900 unfinished projects because you’re an idea machine but not a follow-through machine. Yesterday, you came up with 19 brilliant ideas and the next day you forgot about every single one of them. They were still really good though.
10. Never, ever being able to hide your feelings. About anything. If you don’t like someone, no one will be more terrifying to be around. No one. Please don’t hurt me for saying that. OK, thanks.
11. When people tell you you’re doing great at something and all you can think is, “Yeah, but I could be doing even greater.” Because your goals are so large and you’re ready to just achieve them already. Progress is not a word you understand. Is it Latin for “bullshit”? You’re pretty sure it is.
12. Your friends pray you never have to break bad news to them because you will not sugarcoat it. You just want the truth to get out there hard and fast. Other people, however, would prefer you did not want that so badly.
13. The pure joy of being underestimated and then proving someone wrong. Because it give you a chance to turn on your turbospeed workaholism and prove to them that you can get 4,000 times as many things done as they think you can. And then you have to nap for, like, two days, which is like a year for you.
14. The kind of meh feeling when you expect a lot from someone and they let you down. It’s only because you would buy people homeless people houses and release innocent people from jail if you could. So expecting someone to hold a door once in a while because you’re carrying, like, 19 bags seems fair.
15. Waiting is your personal hell. You hate waiting so much you probably skipped every other number just to get to this one first, which proves my point.